I am not good with directions. I feel like this should be common knowledge but I’m aware that it is not. I’ll reiterate for the sake of emphasis: I am not good with directions. Whether its giving or getting direction, I’ve just always struggled to locate myself in the lay of the land. I still have to do the hand test to know which way is left and which is right. How I ever learned to drive is one of the unsearchable mysteries of the universe.
Now, because I’m not good with directions, I often get lost in places I’ve visited less than thrice. This is making exceptions for big markets, airports and estates where all the houses look the same. I lose myself in those places regardless of the frequency of my visits.
I once got lost in Balogun Market, Lagos and meandered about for three hours under the unforgiving Lagos sun trying to figure out the exit. Three hours! Three hours!!! When it’s not like I was reenacting the exodus of Israel through the wilderness.
You might say, “But, Angi, you’re directionally challenged, not stupid now. How can you spend three hours going in circles?”
Well… Turns out I was directionally challenged and stupid. Okay, maybe not stupid. But, mute. I was mute. You see, it wasn’t enough that I was afflicted with poor spatial awareness, my problem was compounded by social anxiety manifesting in the extreme disability to talk to strangers. I was a pitiful case.
This situation replayed itself in my life in many ways. Do you know how many times I’ve allowed myself to be driven past my stop because I couldn’t bring myself to say, “o wa” in a vehicle full of people? Stop trying to guess. You can never know. But I’ll tell you it’s a lot. I’ve traversed the length and breadth of Lagos bridges because of my apparent disability to open my mouth and ask where I am and where I’m going.
You know the worst part? I always made a point of looking like I knew what I was doing and where I was going. I would walk along a road, realize I was on the wrong way and CONTINUE walking. I would walk while wrestling voices in my head almost to the end of the road. At which point, I would receive an (imaginary) phone call from a concerned (imaginary) loved one, loudly exclaim, “I’m already on my way. It’s XYZ street, right? Oh?! It’s ABC? I need to turn back o.” Then, I would turn back and make the same tedious, shameful journey back to where I started.
This one-woman drama was for the benefit of those who were obviously watching me walking down the street and had nothing better to do with their lives than judge a big-headed, directionally challenged teenager waste energy walking down the wrong road. I was acting Oscar-worthy scenes when I could’ve just turned around immediately I noticed I was on the wrong path or better still ask for clear directions to where I was headed. But, like I previously said, I was a multiply challenged individual.
This horrible habit translated into other areas of my life. I would often get lost trying to follow the paths of life (as humans are wont to do) but I would continue on the wrong path, never speaking up, refusing to seek clarity and all the whole putting up an act for people who did not care to watch. I was so scared that people who knew nothing about my destination would see me going the wrong way and ridicule me for it.
“Look at her. She’s spent 15 minutes on this road that’s not even in the direction of her destination. She’s going to look so stupid if she turns now.”
And yeah, I did look stupid. But only to myself, because the journey back would always feature me insulting and belittling myself for being a baby chicken. I was so stupid. I could’ve turned at any point on my way but I always chose the farthest because at some point anxiety would have to give in. So what if it takes three hours?
But three hours can easily become three years on the wrong path of life. Enduring with the wrong company, in the wrong place and all the while wasting time. Always moving forward but never making progress.
Fear of turning back can look like years of enduring with the wrong company, being in the wrong place, all the while wasting time. You’re always moving forward but never making progress.ANGELA EDHERE
I eventually got over my anxiety by the power of the Spirit in me. The Holy Spirit pushed me to speak up, to ask for directions from strangers and to turn immediately I realize I’m on the wrong path. There was no time to waste time. Every time you spend on the wrong road is time you could have spent pursuing purpose in the right direction. Trust me, no one is looking at you. Just turn back.
There’s no time to waste time. Every time you spend on the wrong road is time you could have spent pursuing purpose in the right direction.ANGELA EDHERE
Ask yourself: What did you set out to do? If you continue on the road you’re on, will you accomplish whatever it is you set out to do or will you end up enduring long seasons in completely avoidable uncomfortable situations?
When you’re unsure of the road you’re on, wisdom demands that you STOP. Stop first and assess where you are. If you’re clearly unsure, SPEAK UP. Know where you are and ask where you’re going and when you’re finally sure, TURN IMMEDIATELY and go the right way.
Let me lend you some wisdom from Jeremiah:
This is what the LORD says: Stand by the roadways and look. Ask about the ancient paths, “Which is the way to what is good? ” Then take it and find rest for yourselves.Jeremiah 6:16 CSB
I know it can be hard to stop on a path you’ve tread on for so long. It takes great courage to turn back but purpose waits for no one. If you think you’re on the wrong path, today is the best day to stop, think and turn around. The Lord helps you as you do.
I’m still not good with directions but I’ve refused to let myself be mute. I ask, seek and knock that I may know the way in which I’m to go. I am swift to turn back from the road that is not heading in the direction of my purpose.
I’ve seen the benefit in walking the right path and not enduring harsh uncomfortable conditions for a season, no matter how long or short it is. Life is only so long and there’s no time to waste time. My “o wa” is loud enough. No more carrying me past my bus stop.
Have you been faced with anyone of my multiple challenges? Let’s talk about it in the comments! Find out the right way to follow a stranger by clicking here.
All nouns and pronouns used to refer to my Father, YHWH – who is God of gods and King of Kings – are capitalized for ease of reading and referencing.
I am a believer in the creation and design of an extremely intricate and complex universe. I believe that the intelligent lifeform to whom the wondrous work of the universe is attributed is YHWH, who I have seen through His Son Jesus Christ. I believe in the Lordship of YHWH who is Father, Son, and Spirit. I believe Jesus is the ONLY way to the Father (and Heaven). I believe in the efficacy of the Holy Bible.
At the time of writing this, I have been with Christ for five years. He has marked my life and He is written all over me. My thoughts and expressions are influenced by my beliefs and choices.